We’ve seen a lot of wedding invitations – the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Learn what to do by reading about what not to do.  Enjoy this 29-part guide we’ve put together:

  1. Forget to proof the final product. There’s nothing more embarrassing than having bad grammar and typos immortalized on your wedding invitation.wedding invitations typo 29 Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations
  2. Mass print on flyers from Kinko’s. Photocopies and goldenrod paper do not a classy wedding invitation make. Inexpensive, beautiful wedding invitations do exist.
  3. Use obscure nicknames. “Princess Smash and Mega Weapon invite you to witness their union at…” sounds way more fun to go to than “Tina Ann Williams and George Benson Carl, Jr…” but it also sounds like 8-year-olds are getting married.
  4. Go overboard with your theme. Be it baby’s-breath or bikers, there is such a thing as “too much.”wedding invitations biker theme 29 Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations
  5. Include as many registry cards as possible. Macys, Target, KMart, Bed Bath and Beyond, WalMart and Bloomingdales? Stuff ‘em all in there and it will be a shower of registry-confetti joy for the recipient. And a huge mess. And it will make you look a little silly.
  6. Forget to include directions. Google Maps is stalking us all at a much more efficient rate, so it may be tempting to forego this insert. However, for anyone that has ended up 60 miles from their desired destination using an internet map, you might want to think about including at least a few landmarks to look out for.
  7. Combine alcohol and hand-addressing your wedding invitations. It might be more fun for you… until your sixes, eights, and zeros all end up looking alike. Breaking invitation addressing into manageable groups over a few days will help to eliminate the need for Appletini pick-me-ups. Or, think about having your envelopes printed.
  8. Do it all online. Set your wedding up as a Facebook event or Evite. We are well into a digital age, but there is still something to be said about a personal touch for your wedding invitations.
      8a. When you screw up and accidentally invite your entire Friends List, including your 4th grade teacher, those friends you met at a hostel in Argentina, and your ex-boyfriend you just like to stalk, write a mass disclaimer update letting them know they are uninvited. Ouch.wedding invitations facebook 29 Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations
  9. Include deceased relatives in the invitations. Unless you want your guests expecting a séance after the Best Man’s toast, keep those who have passed away in your memories rather than on paper.
  10. Pick a wacky font like Trebuchet or Wingdings. The more crazy and illegible, the more fun it is! Just kidding. There are plenty of fonts to choose from that aren’t boring Times New Roman and cliché French Script, but are still readable.
  11. Don’t bother with salutations like Mr., Dr., Ms., Miss, Mrs. and Rev. You may think 8 years of medical school is rewarded through the paycheck and not the title, but it is a sign of respect.  Stick with the proper conventions.
  12. Address your invitations in the dark. While it’s a fun test to see how legibly you will be able to communicate once that devilish old age has stolen your eyesight, it will make for a less-fun game of “Let’s Decipher It!” for you, the post office and your guests. If you aren’t blessed with beautiful penmanship, consider getting your envelopes printed, or hire your classically-trained calligrapher sister-in-law.wedding invitations handwriting 29 Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations
  13. Organize your invitations in two groups: the people you really want at your wedding, and the people you only sort of want at your wedding. Send out the first batch of invites, and wait for the RSVP cards to return before batch two goes out. That way, you can select individuals and limit the amount of second-tier guests at your wedding based on the number of available seats. The screw-up here is if the people from the B-group find out that they are in the B-group. Proceed with caution.
  14. Use office letter head, envelopes, and stamps. It may be something to keep you busy at your boring desk job, but Accounting Firm is not a very romantic wedding theme. Elegant wedding invitations are available for low costs. Save work for internet browsing honeymoon destinations!
  15. Spritz each invitation with a heavy dose of your favorite designer-imposter perfume. What is Chanel for you is an allergy attack waiting to happen for a couple of your potential guests. Use an interesting paper texture or fun colors to make your invitation stand out in all the junk mail.
  16. Use 38 cent stamps from a few years ago and supplement the postage with six 1 cent stamps. Whatever you hear, there is no such thing as “messy-chic.” Especially not at your wedding.wedding invitations stamps galore 29 Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations
  17. Instead of sealing the envelopes with a heart or love sticker, use dollar store SpongeBob Squarepants stickers, or Dora the Explorer. It may be tempting to bring a child’s care-free spirit to your wedding invitations, but it will be much more age appropriate to do so with fun colors and shapes rather than cartoons.
  18. Make a YouTube video. You’re not a good a singer as you think. Stick to paper.
  19. Invitation-in-a-tin. It’s a hot new trend, but if you don’t have a sardine- or spam-themed wedding, don’t make a can opener a necessary tool to open you invitation.
  20. Turn your invitation into a puzzle. Having your guests figure out the date, place, and time by solving riddles, math equations and logic challenges will mean you will have a very empty audience at your wedding. Try spicing up your wording while still making sense.
  21. Dress up your own invitations with tacky arts and crafts. Ribbons, confetti, stamps, glitter, maybe a few cheerios. It will obviously be the “black tie event” of the year. Hint: Simple and chic is the way to be!wedding invitations arts crafts materials 29 Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations
  22. Be too green. Recycled paper good. Wedding invitations printed on scrap paper, tid-bits from the recycling bin, and tin cans not so good.
  23. For the people at the office, don’t bother with invitations. A flier on the bulletin board, a couple of post-it notes on the water cooler. People will get the message: that they don’t really matter. Treat all your guests equally.
  24. Push the envelope of “too-risqué”. Register for gifts at Frederick’s of Hollywood and XXX-R-Us, and include the details in your wedding invitation. Be warned that Grandma and your priest will probably not look at you the same way ever again. Save it for the Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties.
  25. If you are only interested in cash gifts, put it in big bold letters right on the invitation. It won’t give guests the chance to try and get you stuff you’ll hate or don’t need, but it will make you look like a mega Bridezilla. Same goes for including a direct-deposit bank account number on the bottom of the invite.
  26. Be overt and explicit when informing guests of an Adults Only wedding. Stick figure children with a big red circle and “X” through it will get the point across, but go with classy wording and you will seem a lot less callous.wedding invitations no children 29 Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations
  27. Only send out wedding announcements and no wedding invitations. This is really only acceptable if you don’t include your registry information. Expecting presents with no presence is a big-time faux pas.
  28. Smudges? Coffee rings or wine spills? Send these out and you become the Sloppy Bride of the Century.  Accidents happen, so order a few extra invitations just in case.  Better to order a few extra than to have to reorder and deal with minimum quantities and timing issues.
  29. Buy only one really beautiful wedding invitation you love. Keep that one for yourself to put in your wedding scrapbook, and send photocopies of it to everyone on your guest list. Cost efficent? Yes. Bizarre? Yes.

5 thoughts on “29-Part Guide to Royally Messing Up Your Wedding Invitations

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    Joan Smith

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